GIVING UP IS WORSE THAN LOSING

Carolyne Ndalilah, director of the high-profile Kenyan youth organisation TYSA, helps young people get to know themselves and the challenges facing their communities. 'What our society needs are young people who think beyond tomorrow; who see it as a challenge to try the impossible.'

It's a wonderful story: from beneficiary of TYSA projects to director of the same organisation. It's the path that Carolyne Ndalilah (25) has travelled in ten years. She was fifteen when Transforming Young Stars of Africa (TYSA) came into her life. An organisation in and around the city of Kitale, in north-western Kenya. TYSA's mission is clear: if you create safe places for young people to come together, and if young people are given the opportunity to be involved in decision-making processes, you can bring about real positive change in society.

Ndalilah became involved with the organisation in her third year of secondary school. “TYSA focused on vulnerable groups in society, such as teenage mothers and young people without parents.” Ndalilah herself had become a mother to a daughter after an unwanted pregnancy and felt that her future looked bleak at that point. TYSA's activities turned her life around. 'I came into contact with other groups of young people from the area. At the weekends, we did empowerment sessions and during the holidays we went camping together. We shared our life stories with each other.

I realised that I was still better off than others who had it much harder and had long since given up hope of getting an education, for example.

'What I learned most of all,' she continues, 'was to never give up hope, no matter what you do. TYSA's activities were very much focused on taking positive action and having confidence in yourself. For me personally, it was also very important that the TYSA staff made it clear to me that it is not a crime at all to have a child while you are still at school.

A different person

Ndalilah says she is a completely different person now than she was ten years ago. Her new self-confidence also had a direct impact on her father. ‘I never thought I would ever have the opportunity to study after secondary school. When my father saw how much I had developed through TYSA, he said, “I believe in you and we will see how we can finance your studies.” He sold a piece of land to pay for my studies and rent a room for me in the city.’

She went on to study social work at Eldoret College of Professional Studies, but soon realised that her father had been a little too optimistic. She laughs: 'He thought he had paid for the entire course, but it was only for one module. I didn't dare tell him, because with my daughter there, there were seven of us at home and that was already very difficult financially.'

So creativity was needed to raise the rest of the tuition fees. She found work in a salon where she braided women's hair. 'I did that from eight in the morning until three in the afternoon. Then I rushed to my classes until eight in the evening. I was paid by the day at work. That way, I could pay off a little bit of my school fees every day.'

When the salon had to close due to problems, Ndalilah felt for a moment that everything was lost. But once again, she was creative. ‘A friend taught me how to make liquid soap myself. I poured it into half-litre bottles, which I sold for 50 shillings (about 40 euro cents, ed.) each. I went door to door until three in the afternoon and then hurried back to my studies.’ With a broad smile on her face, she says: 'I made a really decent profit. Not only was I able to pay for the rest of my studies, but I was also able to send money to my parents.'

Passion for young people

After completing her three-year course, she did an internship at a government organisation that provides scholarships. She also remained very active at TYSA and rose through the ranks of the organisation. This work in particular gave her a lot of satisfaction. ‘I have a passion for children and young people and think it's incredibly important that they learn about their rights. And I really love mentoring: guiding others and helping them to see themselves grow.

Mentoring is all about helping others realise who they are, what the challenges are in their community and how they can tackle them.

There are still plenty of challenges. Although Ndalilah sees that it is becoming increasingly normal for boys and girls to play sports together and sees more and more of her peers who are empowered, there are still many prejudices and stigmas. 'Especially in remote areas, people still believe that women are there to do housework, while men are the head of the family and are allowed to give orders. We still regularly have conversations with parents in which only the father speaks and says that a girl is not allowed to continue her education after primary school and is expected to marry as soon as possible. Women really have no say in the matter. I thank God that there are organisations like TYSA that stand up against this and engage in dialogue about it."

Role models

Since the beginning of this year, she has been at the helm of the organisation, which Ndalilah promoted her to be the new director. ‘TYSA believes in the power of young people as leaders and role models in the community,’ she says. ‘As someone who has gone through all stages of TYSA's leadership programmes, I am a proud product of that myself.’

Her main ambitions are to raise awareness of TYSA's approach so that other social organisations are inspired by it, to increase girls' participation in leadership and to bring even more female role models into the spotlight. 'What our society needs are young people with an open mind, who think beyond tomorrow; young people who see it as a challenge to try the impossible. My motto in life is that you should never give up, no matter what. In life, you shouldn't be afraid of losing, but afraid of giving up. Giving up is worse than losing.'

Her contract with TYSA runs until December 2022. Then she will step down as director to make way for another young person who has come up through the organisation itself. Ndalilah already knows what her next challenge will be. 'My dream is to get a PhD and write my thesis on social work.'